My Big Mouth Helped Me NOT Get A Job

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When I was around 23, I was a hotshot staff accountant at the Witco Chemical Corporation. My aura at the time was that my poop didn’t stink. Other people’s might have, but not mine.

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Who Do You Resemble?

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I once received a chain email (which by the way I hate!)The email explained that there are some people who are so close to their dogs that they end up looking like them. It stated that because of all the time spent with the dogs, playing with them, cleaning them, even eating with them, the person begins to take on a bit of their dog’s likeness.

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I Always Wanted That

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Circa 1994. Recently I took the time to transfer our family VHS videos to DVD. Fun job. Yeah, I don’t think so! But it was necessary. As I meticulously prepared the tapes for conversion- that is, putting them in chronological order- I started the process. With the conversion of each tape, I found myself glued to the TV watching our past come to life once again.

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Right Place Wrong Time

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Circa 1996. I was in St. Louis for a newspaper convention. It was one of those tiring trips with a full night of activities to ramp up for. I checked into the hotel and headed for my room. I could not wait to lay down on the bed and grab a quick snooze before I needed to get cleaned up for the evening.

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"Yes, We Even Cleaned Under the Bed"

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I don't know about your family, but when it comes to staying overnight at a hotel there is a certain criteria that needs to be met.  First, it is essential that the hotel was updated within the last few years. Second, it must be clean. And third, well, just review the first two.

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You Can't Always Get What You Want

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As men, we can get caught up in the lure of a dream or goal. When it doesn’t work out, we get discouraged and forget to look for God’s purpose. I experienced this about two years into my career. I was working with a headhunter to find a new job, and I interviewed at the Sealed Air Corporation.
Learning from my previous mistakes, I was both professional and polished. I left feeling confident that the job was mine. When I got home, the headhunter called and said, "I’m sorry Joe. They chose someone with a little more experience, but they really liked you and want you to come back to interview for a different position."

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Are You All In?

On February 5, 2012 the New York Football Giants defeated the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLVI by the score of 21–17. The game was played at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, the first time that the Super Bowl was played in the state of Indiana. Just another Super Bowl? Perhaps. But maybe, just maybe there was something special about this game and its champion. You see the Giants didn’t have a particularly awe inspiring season. Yes it was their fourth Super Bowl in team history, but this Giants team set a new record for the lowest regular season record (9–7, win percentage of 56.3%) by a Super Bowl champion. So what was it that took a so-so team to the pinnacle of the sport?

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Lies, Lies & More Lies

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Growing up, I was probably the biggest liar in the world. I lied, cheated and stole almost compulsively. I lied so much, in fact, that to this day, I’m really not sure what memories actually occurred and which were fantasy. For example, if I didn’t have a photo of myself standing on the field at Yankee Stadium hanging in my basement, I probably wouldn’t even know if I actually tried out for the New York Yankees. Many times my sisters talk about the past and I just can’t seem to remember those memories they speak of.

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Would You Hire You?

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Circa 2011. Jim was a friend. A lazy friend. One day Jim, who use to work for me, came by the office to pay a visit. You see Jim was a nice guy, just lazy. (Did I point that out already?) On this particular visit we were talking about the state of my company and I mentioned how I really needed one more salesperson.

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"Coffee!"

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Circa 1998. I had a friend who was under the impression that he was a good boss. He believed he spoke in the right tone and treated those under him with respect. NOT!

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The Order

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Circa 1980. Many years ago I had a friend who was working on a construction site as a gopher (someone who does the dirty work.) One day the boss asked him to go to Burger King and gave him a piece of paper with the order on it. My friend, who was a boy at the time, rushed to BK, placed the order and brought it back to the site promptly.

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Failure A Great Teacher

Picture this...Circa 2000. I’ve failed many times in my life. I’ve also had many successes. Both extremes have been part of my life. "The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat", I have lived through both.

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Committed to Mediocrity

Picture this...You show up to a baseball game, some of your teammates don’t have the appropriate shoe wear; others didn’t bring gloves for the field and a couple of guys are distracted talking to a few girls in the stands.  As a player how equipped do you feel your team is to play baseball?

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Legacy in the Attic

For a few years my wife had been on me to clean up the attic. Now I am a very organized guy but I view the attic as a place where old memories retire and disturbing that hallowed place did not seem to be a something that I wanted to do much less a priority. Bottom line…I wanted my past to continue to be a part of my life. However, one day, in a moment of obvious weakness, my wife asked me once more to clean the attic and I finally agreed.
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The Lawn Legacy

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One day I was driving when on the radio I heard the hosts talking about crazy things people do. A caller started to tell the host that a friend of his is so looney about his lawn that before people leave a party at his house he begins to rake the foot prints his guests left behind! Funny but this didn’t sound abnormal to me.

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